And so it ends

So here it is: The last episode update of the season. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. In an effort to once again let the LFCers into my brain, I'm about to give you a never before used literary device known simply, as the Play by Play...here goes..

9:00PM-- The show starts. There's a hush in the room because I've just yelled at my betrothed and that cat to ZIP IT. I didn't yell, just sternly voiced...I kid..I love them both very much...
Nice beard on Jack...he always seemed so clean cut in all of his flashbacks....Who's obituary makes Jack break down and want to kill himself?....Ahh Jack the hero, in action!!

9:07PM-- Commercial. The Idol kids are doing some sing along. I think I just saw Smokey Robinson reading the words off of a teleprompter

9:10PM-- Charlie is getting his arse whooped by Bonnie and Greta...Mostly Bonnie...Turns out Ben has been lying to everyone about the Looking Glass Station, even his communications officer Patchy....Makes me wonder if Ben was routing all transmissions through there..That's a lonely existence for Cagney and Lacey....Looks like Juliet has gone rogue..Finally I think she's a good guy...Jin is a helluva shot--Can't hit stationary dynamite but can shoot one guy in the shoulder and one in the leg, while being shot at...

9:16PM--Commercial. Commercial on Idol as well....

9:18PM--Jack's a pill popping drunk....and his ex wife is pregnant....The guy seemingly can't catch a break...good thing he's stranded on an island away from all these problems...I wonder where his dad's at?....Rose delivers the funniest line of the night: If you tell me live together, die alone I'm going to punch you in the face, Jack....makes Jack smile...Back at camp, Bernard folds like a cheap chair and spills the beans on where everyone is headed....Too bad cause Jin was about to take it like a man, Sawyer style....Looks like Ben's world is crumbling....

9:25PM--Commercial..Bathroom break

9:29PM--Ben tells Richard to continue on with the Others to the Temple..I think he's making notes on one of Danielle's maps...odd...Ben says he's going to talk them out of it, the rescue that is...Kate is calling Sawyer out for his odd behavior..Little does she know that Sawyer is dead and there's nothing left but Sweet Baby James, filled with guilt and remorse....She says something about being pregnant and he says Let's hope not..dang, even the cat could tell that was harsh...

9:35PM--Commercial. Apparently I've time travelled back to 2005 cause I see the one and only Chocolate Teddy Bear, Reuben Studdard, singing on American Idol!!! where's Clay?!?!?

9:39PM--Ben is telling Patchy to protect the Island by all means necessary....Bad folks are coming and Ben wants to keep the place a secret...For some reason I'm reminded of the Eagles hit Desperado:
Desperado, oh, you aint gettin no yougerYour pain and your hunger, theyre drivin you homeAnd freedom, oh freedom well, thats just some people talkinYour prison is walking through this world all alone
Is Ben walking through the world alone? Has his focus on getting women to give birth led him astray? Is he trying to redeem his curse that befelled his own mother? She died and now, all women on the Island die before they can give birth....Strange...We see Jack with the shakes...we find out he rescued the boy and his mother from the burning wreckage...Dr Hamill tells Jack to go home..Dr Hamill? Is that a shout out to Star Wars star Mark Hamill aka Luke Skywalker??? I've always said Jack was Luke.....

9:50PM-- I think I missed a commercial cause this part has been nothing but revealing!! Juliet tells Sawyer they were building a runway, which is why he and Kate were busting rocks way back in the beginning of the season. What's the runway for? The aliens....HA..She's funny but lying again..you don't build a runway with out knowing why and who for....wait...is that??.....LOCKE!!!!!!!!!! Alive and well...well not all the way..He's paralyzed in a grave with some corpses..good thing one of them has a gun...oh wait..not a good thing...don't shoot yourself John!!...STOP...who dat?? It's WALT!!! A very aged Walt...apparently the writers have a reason for Walt to be a foot taller, with baby dreads and a deep voice..You have work to do....I'm confused...Is this Smokey again, manifesting into an image Locke will respond to? Is Jacob channeling the image of Walt?...I need a drink....

9:55PM--Commercial..Wait...is that Reuben AGAIN?!?! what the hell is he singing?!? oh Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds...I think he just won American Idol....

9:59PM--Jack attends a funeral that no one else did. When asked "friend or family" he responds "neither"...who's in the box???..well the very next scene is Jack talking to Ben....maybe Ben will ask about the funeral...alas, only a commercial

10:05PM-- Jordin Sparks beats out Reuben Studdard to become the newest American Idol....Blake Lewis beat boxes for food signs being made in the streets...

10:11PM--Patchy starts a killing spree and Desmond shoots him with a spear gun...

10:18PM--Jack is apparently auditioning for Rush Limbaugh's job..Oxycontin, Jack?? really?!? How did your life get so screwed up??...Cut to Jack and Ben's standoff...OK, now Jack's lost it and is beating Ben's bug eyes into the ground..brutal...what if Ben is telling the truth???..Jack tells Tom he's going to come back and kill them all....whoa...

10:22PM-- I realize that I only have 38 minutes left in my term as El Prez..yes, I'm more of a dictator than an elected official but still, the sadness starts to set in...

10:26PM-- This is where my note taking takes a dive...see if you can follow along..Charlie's destiny is fulfilled because the code to the key pad can only be deciphered by a musician...Why, we have one right here!!!

10:28PM-- Hugo to the rescue!! Some hippie van..he mows over Ryan like he's cutting the grass...Sayid breaks the other dudes neck with his dang feet!! and then Sawyer guns down Tom for taking Walt off the raft...remember the line in the jungle??Me and you ain't through, Zeke....truer words have never been spoken...Jack is messed up on the pills..Dr Hamill accuses him of being drunk and Jack screams to bring his father down here..if he's drunker than I am, you can fire me..where is Christian??? and what the h has happened to Jack?? Seriously, shouldn't he at least invest in a beard TRIMMER?...

10:40PM--Charlie dies a brilliant death. A tear was shed when he crossed himself......let me rewind: NOT PENNY'S BOAT!! We saw Penny Widmore! She knows Des is alive but she can't find him....what the..?? Patchy's outside the Hatch!! With a grenade!!!!! aww hell!!! Damn you Cyclops!!!..Locke shows up in timeto kill teh new chick and threatens to kill Jack..Jack makes the call and help is on the way!! But what kind of help?? Was Ben RIGHT?

10:55PM--Jack's finally gotten through to whoever he's been calling..we see his apartment, covered in maps and trash...he tells the person on the other end he'll meet at the spot by the airport....A car pulls up....a Volvo...I don't do Taco night!!! Sonofabi...it's KATE?!?!?
Oh my...we haven't been watching a flash back!!! We've been watching a FLASH FORWARD!!!!!!!!! They're off the Island!!!! OMG and WTF and ICBINB*!!!!!!!....But Jack's upset...back to Jack...Kate's all you look like crap and he's all you look good and she's all what's going on and he's all we shouldn't have left and she's all what? and he's all I've been flying around the world on the Golden Pass, hoping the plane would crash so I can get back...We never should have left, Kate...I have to go Jack, HE doesn't know I'm gone..who's HE?? Sawyer? Jin? Hurley???AAARRGHH!!!!!!
WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're dang right we have to go back!! You just told me you are off the Island and something so devastating happened there that you are a drunk, bearded, pill stealing mess!! Where's my Jack???
oh, my brain....You aren't supposed to do this Jack-Locke says....
I'm too spent to speculate...I would look for one more recap of what the heck we just saw and a whole summer's worth of head scratching and questions....The good news is there are only 48 more episodes left..the bad news is that we don't have a new one until February 2008.....
I'm out....for now....
EPdeLFC
JB
*I Can't Believe It's Not Butter